A proven antidote for depression — my story.
I’ve wanted to share this since the moment it happened but how to bring it home escaped me for a bit. It reminded me of a scene in the movie “God’s Not Dead” of the lady who was healed of cancer but had trouble sharing it and attributing it to God because of the position it would put her in. In 2020 I was depressed, had episodes upon episodes of panic attacks, carried anxiety like a physical phenomenon in the pit of my stomach, but now am healed. How? Read on, I’ll keep it simple.
While I appreciate the phenomenon that’s been Covid-19 and the effects that it’s had on people world over, I know it’s not the cause of depression, suicide or anxiety. It may have created the environment that caused the rates to spike but we know that as far as assigning responsibility goes, we can’t put that on Covid-19. So what made me depressed you may be wondering? A broken relationship (s).
In all honesty, the cause of depression is not complicated. Depression is caused by broken relationships either with those closest to us or/and with God. Simple as that.
When everything began to unravel for me, it felt like I was falling into an abyss and I remember clearly — I can acknowledge now without shame, how it set me on path that made me hyper aware of my faults and the faults of those who are closest to me. It doesn’t help that most content we consume right now makes us extremely aware of our faults and the faults of other people. Self care, self love, working out, pursuing a career, decluttering our lives, boundaries and all of that are recommended as solutions. However, if we are all honest with ourselves, we know that all these things, as good as they are, have their places in our lives but by a long shot, they don’t come anywhere near addressing depression. They’re like using band-aids for broken limbs.
I pursued therapy and I would recommend it to anyone a million times over because, in my experience, in the hands of the right counselor, it’s a tool that helps quieten our troubled souls so that we can consider the possibility of receiving the antidote. And quietening my heart it did.
Am not a stranger to the Bible but good Lord, I was struggling! I knew I was not supposed to be angry but I was angry. I knew I wasn’t supposed to be depressed; that a broken spirit dries up the bones (Proverbs 17:22), but the, {let’s call them band-aid solutions}, were not producing joy in my heart. I knew I was supposed to forgive and let go but how? I would wonder. I’ve read that God loves me, but I didn’t feel it. In spite of having heard of God’s love for years, I didn’t have an assurance of it in my heart. Knowing all this, in hindsight, was why I couldn’t carry on with band-aid solutions. At the same time, I couldn’t mix the word of God with them either. After a year of struggling and pain, I stopped everything I was trying to do to get rid of this horrible, sick feeling I had carried around all year long and pleaded with God to just take it all away.
The first thing that happened was, I watched Forgiveness University. If you’re reading this, I would strongly recommend that you find 13 hours and watch it. It will save you a lot of therapy hours and thousands of shillings.
What this series did for me was give me a ‘how-to’ forgive. A method if you will. In addition, it freed me to receive God’s love. Hearing about God’s love is one thing, receiving it is a completely different thing.
I keep thinking of the intricate details of creation. From the astonishing fact that only this planet supports human, animal and plant life to the art that is a single strand of DNA.
To think that the God who made and sustains all this {Col 1:17}, me included, loves me above everything else was a thought too much to contain. However, it was what I needed to set me on the path to true and lasting healing.
It always seems too soon to forgive until it’s too late to forgive.
The second and final thing that happened was yet another sermon by one Apostle Joshua Selman ‘Life is Spiritual’. Once again, I highly recommend that you watch this. Life as a christian is not complicated. It is mysterious though. That’s not to say that it can’t be understood because it can. How do we know this? Because God has given us the Holy Spirit to help us accept the mystery of the kingdom of God. In addition to that, he has witnesses who have lived before us and currently live with thus who can break the word of God down for us. Depression is not just a physical occurrence. It’s a spiritual phenomenon. We can’t prescribe physical solutions to spiritual brokenness.
I love the passage in 2 Corinthians 2:5–11. Interestingly, in the NIV translation, it is titled forgiveness for the sinner.
The last bit of that scripture says “…In order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.”
We have all wronged one another. Some ways more grievous than others. However, the result has always been the same. Alienation. It might not look like much to you but alienation is a powerful tool in the hands of Satan, who I should add, is real enemy we have.
So how do I know am not depressed anymore besides the fact that I don’t carry that sick feeling at the pit of my stomach anymore? Or that I can comfortably go to sleep without any fear of tomorrow? I know I am loved in a way even an R&B can’t possibly describe.
1st John 4:18
There’s no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.Psalm 119:130
The entrance of Your words gives light;
It gives understanding to the simple.
Once the word of God enters our hearts in a way we can understand, it’s like shinning a light in dark place. It does more than bring light into our lives, it brings healing. Once depression is cast away, we know we can receive the love of God and give it to those around us. Once we receive forgiveness for ourselves, we can extend forgiveness to others. Once we understand God’s mercy for us, we can give mercy to others.
If you’re reading this, please know that depression has an a permanent solution. That solution is available to you if you would just turn off Netflix and feed your faith.
May your week ahead be full of liberty. ❤
